Charlie

Candidate for Trade and Industry for the Sir Digby Chicken Ceaser Party



Charlie is genius, right; he's made from a million pieces of old bubble gum, ha, imagine that! In the summer of 1976, on his way home from an Alice Cooper concert, Charlie started to melt onto the pavement; It was too hot in LA, and he melted like a pink bitch, Ha ha ha ha ha! Luckily though, there was Eric Phillips, a local crocodile who dabbled in black magic. He took pity on Charlie and scraped him off the floor with a pair of fish slices. He poured him into an antique soup ladle and boarded his magic carpet, ha ha! Destination Alaska! Eric Phillips decided to refreeze Charlie, but in his cold-blooded reptilian haste, he refroze him into to the shape of a hoover - "I wasn't thinking." Charlie wasn't fazed though, he just zoomed about the place sucking up Inuits "ha ha … oh." The Inuits didn't mind, they loved it in Charlie's pink tight warm belly pouch, and they refused to come out. Charlie said "I'm cool with that," and set fire to a posh hammer to make it official. "I appear to be on fire." The downside was that the Inuits suffocated immediately. It was air-tight in there. Charlie panicked and fired the tiny Inuit bullets into Eric's crocodile peepers. "After all I did for you … oooh." The green shape was frozen. After a quick drink Charlie stole Eric Phillips magic carpet and left for Seattle. Charlie was racked with guilt, he'd killed 50 Inuits, no-one needs that. He decided to spend the rest of his life putting small hairstyles onto boots, monkey nuts, trumpets and spanners.