Bob Fossil

Candidate for Environment and Tourism for the Sir Digby Chicken Ceaser Party



Bob Fossil is the ill-tempered and slightly odd manager of the Zooniverse and zoo owner Dixon Bainbridge's right-hand man. He is loud, brash, American, chubby and possibly retarded. He is Howard and Vince's enemy, often trying to set them up for disaster, although on occasion he has expressed a (perhaps subconscious) attraction to both of them. He generally dislikes both of them (although he is sometimes friendly to Vince). Fossil has a desperate crush on Bainbridge, and declares that he is very interested in getting involved in Bainbridge's "shady operations." Bainbridge often pushes Fossil roughly aside or knees him in the groin, but Fossil claims this is something they do all the time and it's a way of showing affection. On at least one occasion, Fossil and Bainbridge apparently got drunk and drove around beating up midgets.

Fossil is very, very stupid, doesn't know how to dial a phone, and calls a portable tape recorder his "talk box". He is often very childlike and emotional, and when confronted with something disturbing (such as a mysteriously floating cup, or a cage full of mutants) he will shriek horribly. Though Fossil is chief zoo keeper, he knows nothing about animals. He is unable to identify the animals he supposedly cares for at the zoo, even the relatively easy ones, such as the elephant (which he calls "the grey leg-face man"). Fossil also had a traumatic childhood which involved his mother hiding in a bunker at breakfast while throwing eggs at him. He says into his "talk box", "Note to self: I hate whites." Fossil looks caucasian, although we don't know for certain that he is. (It is quite possible that his idiocy has caused him to be confused about his own ethnicity.) Fossil has his own theme song for the zoo: "Happy happy zoo zoo, for him and her and me and you!"

He is currently the presenter of "The Pie Face Showcase" TV music programme. In this appearance he makes a joke about his wife, although it is unclear if he actually has a wife or not.

Fossil does not like cricket, and communicates this through the medium of dance.